If mealtimes with your child sometimes feel more like negotiations than nourishment, you aren’t alone. According to the NHS, more than half of children will show fussy eating habits at some point.

Charlotte Stirling-Reed, a child and baby nutritionist, spoke to the CBeebies Parental Helpline about the best ways to manage it and said it’s important not to blame yourself.

“It’s a really normal part of many children’s development. There are so many families out there dealing with this.

“Don’t feel like it’s just you because it isn’t.”

Whilst seemingly counterintuitive, Charlotte says allowing a child to pick what they want to eat can actually encourage them to try more things.

“If your little one says, ‘I don’t want to eat this food,’ then saying to them, ‘that’s okay,’ is a much more helpful stance.”

As the child grows, they need to make their own decisions, so not suppressing this can help.

“Kids want autonomy, and us saying to them, ‘you don’t have to eat it’ can often permit them to decide eating it is their choice.”

She also suggests allowing them to leave the table when they want, saying prolonging mealtimes will only make the situation worse.

Labelling different foods as good or bad can ultimately impact a child’s relationship with what they are eating, says Charlotte.

“Try and be neutral. Avoid ‘if you eat that, you’ll get a reward or punishment’. Any of that can have a really negative effect on children.”

Instead, Charlotte encourages parents to teach children about balance.

“We don’t need to shame different foods, but we might eat some foods less frequently than others.

“I wouldn’t have the conversation about what’s healthier or what’s not. I’d model it, I’d show them what moderation and variety and balance looks like.”

Making meals a more enjoyable experience away from the food itself can take attention away from the problem and encourage them to eat, says Charlotte.

This also helps shift the association of the table as a place where they don’t want to be.

“Get a book out, anything you can do to make them want to be at the table. Then you could always say ‘we’re going to put that book away now and we’re going to have our food’.

“But try not to focus on the food. Try and make the dinner table time fun, chat to them a lot.”

As a child reaches the age of one, their growth can begin to slow, which can cause an appetite dip.

“There are peaks and troughs. Just like we don’t always have the same appetite every day, it’s the same for our kids.”

She says being mindful of this is important.

“It’s called responsive feeding, letting them dictate how much they eat. So we set a structure, like breakfast, lunch, and dinner. We offer it at that time and we choose what foods, but we should try and let them decide how much.”

If your child is active and growing, then they’re probably getting enough food. However, if you’re concerned about your child’s limited diet or you think they may have other sensory issues, then it’s always worth discussing it with your GP.

Including your child as much as possible in food prep and meals can help them become more adventurous.

Charlotte says simple activities such as helping lay the table, stirring or spreading mixtures, doing the shopping together or even reading about food can all help.

She also advises exposing them to a wide range of foods.

“Children like familiarity. So the more they become familiar with all these foods, the more likely they are to accept them.”

This doesn’t have to take a lot of time. Charlotte recommends using food items that are quick to use and nutrient-heavy.

“Things like ground nuts, ground seeds, a handful of frozen fruit or vegetables.

“And also products that you can make a very quick meal out of, such as mixing tinned tomatoes, lentils and frozen veggies, and voila, you’ve got a really healthy, nutrient-dense pasta sauce.”

For more advice on fussy eating see the NHS guide.

Schools are “picking up the pieces” as more children start reception without key skills such as speaking in full sentences or using the toilet independently, teaching unions have told the BBC.

A third of teachers have at least five children in their school’s reception class who need help with going to the toilet, a survey of more than 1,000 primary school teachers in England suggests.

Nine in 10 who responded to the Teacher Tapp survey had seen a decrease in speech and language abilities among new starters over the past two years.

The government previously announced a target for 75% of children to be at a good level of development on leaving reception by 2028.

At St Mary’s Church of England Primary School in Stoke, speech and language therapist Liz Parkes is helping reception pupil Gracie sound out words that rhyme.

Liz comes to the school once a week to do one-to-one interventions like this, and to offer training and support to teachers on how to spot issues.

Around a quarter of pupils at St Mary’s need some extra support with speech and language when they join reception, but with Liz’s help that number is down to just a handful of pupils by Year 2.

Liz says social isolation is partly the reason for the decrease in communication skills.

“Children are increasingly spending a lot of time looking at a screen and not necessarily engaged in more meaningful interactions or developing the kind of listening skills you need when you hit nursery and reception.

“We’re seeing children in reception who haven’t experienced having conversations on a regular basis or aren’t having a range of experiences where they’re exposed to language.”

Teacher Tapp, a survey tool, asked primary school teachers in England about school readiness a week into term. In results seen exclusively by BBC News, they found:

• 85% of 1,132 respondents said they had at least one reception pupil who needed help going to the toilet
• 33% have at least five children needing help, while 8% had at least 10
• 92% reported a decrease in speech and language abilities among reception starters over the past two years.

A Department for Education spokesperson said that the government was working to ensure that a record share of children are “school-ready” at the age of five, “turning the tide on inherited challenges of lack of access to high-quality early education, and helping teachers focus on teaching so every child in the class can achieve and thrive”.

The spokesperson added that the government had already increased access to early years care for hundreds of thousands of families and was investing £1.5bn to “rebuild early years services”.

Catherine Miah, deputy head at St Mary’s Church of England Primary School in Stoke, encouraged schools to budget for a speech and language therapist, who could have an “incredible” impact on children.

“We’ve had to make sacrifices elsewhere, but if children aren’t ready to learn you could sit them in front of the best phonics lessons in the world, they’re not going to take it onboard if they’ve not got those learning behaviours.”

The school says a third of its pupils need help with toilet training when they join nursery, but the school works with parents to ensure they are toilet-trained by the time they reach reception.

“We’re a team. It’s not a case of saying to parents ‘This is your job. Why haven’t you done it?’ We need to work together.”

The government has set a target that 75% of children leaving reception at five years old will have a “good level of development” by 2028. Last year 68% of children were at that level, so an extra 45,000 children a year are needed to reach that goal.

To achieve a “good” level of development, a child is assessed by teachers at the end of their reception year on tasks including dressing, going to the toilet, and paying attention in class.

Pepe Di’Iasio, of the Association of School and College Leaders, said reception teachers were “brilliant” at supporting young children but local services have been badly eroded over the past decade.

“It has left schools picking up the pieces,” he said. “Many children are starting school already several months behind their peers.”

Parenting charity Kindred Squared found that teachers are spending 2.5 hours a day helping children who haven’t hit developmental milestones instead of teaching.

They have written a set of guidelines for parents to check whether their child has the skills they need to begin school.

The Department for Education was approached for comment.

Diane’s son has just started Year 1 at St Mary’s in Stoke this year. She says without the school’s support he would have been much further behind in his development.

“Within two weeks he was out of nappies,” said Diane. “They would help him on the toilet here and I’d do it at home, we’d work together.”

Teachers say her boy is thriving, but Diane says the school has been instrumental in supporting his special educational needs and improving his speech and language.

“He does a lot for himself, whereas before he was always dependent on me. School have helped me to help him become more independent and more confident,” she said.

Additional reporting by Emily Doughty